The Unfortunate Events In Ponyville That Led Me To
by VenX7
Summary: The Unfortunate Events In Ponyville That Led Me To Not Finish This Statement,


**The Unfortunate Events In Ponyville That Led Me To Not Finish This Statement,**

**By VenX7**

Author's Note:For anyone interested in buying this New-York Times Best seller, please leave an envelope with 400 dollars, each dollar labeled Tiffany, under your nearest black friend. Please, oh please, the drug cartel is after me and I need to pay them off.

One time in a horrid and racist baron wasteland there lived ponies. This putrid place was aptly named Ponyville. In this town, our heroes set out to the next city on their quests to earn their 5th gym badge.

"Oh Spike!" called out Twilight Sparkle. "Get your fat black ass out of your bed and get back to work!" she said happily. She was happy at the thought spike had no rights in their world, for he was of different skin color, and everypony knows that colored people really aren't people.

Spike attempted to get out of his bed, but he was drowning in the vast 20 mile lake that was his fat. He attempted to swim to the other side of his bed. However, his fat ate him up just like he ate out Rarity's corpse. He took a piece of pizza from his enormously sized dragon breasts. He attempted to eat said pizza, though infested with the remnants of genital sweat, but he couldn't fit it in his pie-hole do to the amount of food pouring out of his mouth do to the fact there was no more room in his stomach. He shoved in up his anal cavity, and died of pleasure.

"Spike you silly nigger! Don't make me get the fun 'Hasbro play time whip ;D'©" Twaliet looked down, only to see a hole in the ground – the hole spike would make love to every night before he went back to work at the apple farm (not sweat apple acres. Spike maintained his own prosperous apple farm to feed himself, because twilight did not give a single shit to spike). Twilight began to shit in spikes mouth for leaving such a hole (except this one time, she did give a shit). She looked bent over and opened the hatch on the what is now a trap door of a hole. She found that it led straight to another episode! However, Twilight does not possess the ability to break walls of the 4th kind, so she is now Pinkie Pie, and nothing previously said ever happened.

Back to the story, everypony was in line for the apple family's zap apple cider, which was really just normal cider because Granny Smith passed away and the secret to making it died with her, and Apple Bloom was taken as wolf food, being mistaken as a rabbit. Next in line was Cherilee who was quite thirsty. Being a school teacher, all of the tight, tight cooch in her class room drained her of her bodily fluids rather quickly. She was attempting to pull her money out of her pockets – because ponies have pockets. After going through an assortment of death threats 4 kidz and sex toys, she just beat some filly up for her lunch money.

With money in hoof, Cherilee bought some of the sweet, swet piss colored apple drank. Applejack was busy inbreeding with her cousin braeburn, so she asked Big Mac to retrieve the shit of the century. Big Mac recognized the G3 whore, and ejaculated in her cup. Cherilee, being quite familiar with the taste of Big Mac's stallion sperm (you know, they were "married"), went into a state of pure rage and sex. Sherily seduced the Monarch ruler known as Celestia, and took on the role of King. However, Celestia was feeling rather ill, and she knew why. Cherilee has poisoned her vaginal fluids. Celestia died of rug burn the day after (not poison), and the sun died with her. Luna, being the next in line, was so happy that she died. The two lesbian sisters were thrown into Spike's grave, and no funeral was held. Prince Blue Balls, being the last remaining relative of Celestia's and Luna's one night stand was lit on fire and shoved into the fat corpse of Spike through his pizza filled ass. Cherilee was now the ruler of Equestria. Her first order of business, free rape for everypony!

After a long awkward orgy with no penises, Cherilee was bored of this only 5% male planet. The gene pool was terrible, and everypony would just begin to die off because all of the ponies whom were all male get rid of all of their semen through clopping, so there was no way to reproduce. Cherilee decided to bomb Equestria , however the cooridinates were wrong because hooves cannot type well. What was an attempt of the coordinates of Equestria, came out to be "nuhyxcr45 n78jklbnnmqoisadf," or Manehatten as you may know it.

The nuke destroyed all of Hiroshima, ending the Pony War II between the Japanese, and all of Manehatten. The only survivor was none other than During Due, the Indian Jones rip-off of a pony. She took cover in a near-by freezer. She survived the blast, but the freezer could not be opened from the inside, so Daring froze to death.

200 years after the drastic, yet hilarious, sonic rain-nuke, Rainbow Dash emerged from Bank Vault-101 (AKA the asshole of the decapitated purple dragon known as spake) only to be met by a world fully overrun by . After several musicals regarding who to call upon when you're in distress, Rainbow Dash noticed Apple Jack emerge from the seas on Rarity's fashionable dead body. Simply Fabulous.

"Well howdy there you sugar-sphere!" Apple Jack said as she threw Rarity over her shoulder much like a scarf because even in death Rarity is fashionable. "I sure hope you don't mind, but I'm trashing these here ponies on you for the rest of your life." Apple Jack handed Rainbow Dash a dictionary, and inside was Apple bloom Sweetie Belle.

So off Rainbow, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle went. They ventured through the Everfree Forest, and since is non-existent in the Everfree Forest, time went back 200 years to before Fallout: Equestria happened. They came to a nearby bush, and peaked through it as if it was a window. Seeing several pedophiles looking through the same window, there was one particular thing that interested them. They came across the town barber and his brain damaged friend who is also retarded, Snips and Snails.

"Gee, it sure is boring around here," stated Snails

"My colt, true peace is what all true warriors strive for!" replied Snips as he was angrily stabbing himself in the left dorsal fin.

"I just wonder what discords up to!" Snails lashed out. They finished reenacting their roleplaying and went straight to crossing sticks. Their penises began to light a near-by tree on fire, which just happened to have Pinkie Pie in it as she was giggling at the ghosties. The pink flavored smoke rose up into the, causing all of Cloudsdale to begin accepting Earth ponies into their exclusive academy, regardless of the fact that they all died because they could not stand on clouds, and when they tried to fly they all plummeted down into the lake of Spike's fat, where they would be fucked by the one known as Steven Fagnets – er – Magnets.

Apple Bloom stopped clopping and jumped out of the bush to kill Snails and Snips, for Apple Bloom was a hard working Christian man with Christfag morals and believed homosexuality to be a crime punishable by being made into a poorly made Hasbro© toy.

Onward Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle did go

Into a world where the fun did flow.

They kept their heads high,

And they kept their dicks low.

The murderous journey flew by

Yet this poem sucks and I

Would prefer it if Sweetie Belle did die.

AND SO SHE DID


End file.
